Oliver newland

year: Junior

Hometown: bay area, ca

Past teams: Palo Alto Sons, bmen

In the words of Oliver “I Barely Know Her” Newland’s favorite musician, Lil Mama, “Don’t mess with Oliver, he’ll probably just tell you you’re drunk and next thing you know, he’s got a double to himself.”

Known throughout middle and high school as the “less-good at basketball, shorter, more British, more r/streetwear Stephen Curry”, Oliver always knew he was destined for athletic greatness. He began his ultimate career in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, however, quickly realized that the local YCC team, Triforce, was actual trash and didn’t deserve his legendary presence. The Olive needed a true challenge, one to push his disc-slinging to the next level, and thus he journeyed literally across the country to the Bay Area to change a local high school’s ultimate fate forever. 

The rest is history. Oliver arrived at his first DISCiples practice wearing his best joggers and new Yeezy 350s while reciting Kendrick Lamar’s entire life’s work from memory, and his teammates just couldn’t tear their eyes away from his incredible streetwear assemblage. They actually haven’t played a point of ultimate since. Seriously. Things didn’t work out exactly how Oliver wanted with his new team, but he knew that his time would come. That time is now, and as an integral part of the EMEN squad, Oliver is primed to absolutely destroy some poor opposing cutters this season. Legend has it that he gives the cutter he defends a ten yard head start, just to make it somewhat competitive.

When he’s not pretending he's a handler in pickup or lifting heavy things in the gym, this Bay Area phenom can be seen working on his multi snake project or creating his next Star Wars-themed Halloween costume. Oliver can often be seen at Tufts Ultimate functions slapping cups left and right, and occasionally even trying to slap (use?) the fire extinguisher because he’s “feeling the Bern”.

 

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